My story: part 2

This is continued on from the previous post..

So, I get home from the abortion clinic all hopped up on gas, the most expensive high (and only) I have ever had because even if you don't go thru with the abortion they still like to keep your money and I was to doped up to even think/process that at the time. Anywho, I didn't know what to do. No abortion = still pregnant, but still I knew I couldn't raise a baby. So a few days later I pack a few things into my van and head home back to my momma. She had known about my rape when I found out I was preggo and was supportive of my choice to get an abortion. Well, even though I went back home I couldn't face her and tell her that I was still carrying around "his" baby. I just felt so ashamed of everything. I remember one day just driving up and down the main road searching for a billboard I had seen a bazillion times through-out high school and yet could not find it at all. I kept driving by churches to stop and ask for help finding it or knowing the place it advertised but always chickened out. Oh the thoughts that run through your mind and worrying about what others will think and the thoughts of having to talk to the police. I did not want that. I am normally a very shy girl so to air out my dirty laundry was unthinkable.

My story: part 1

We all have them and we are all changed by our own stories and sometimes we are changes by others as well. It is my hopes that my story will change someone's thoughts and opinions on certain subjects. Not that I believe my opinion is the right one and that you should do it my way, but that you see that maybe the world's way of thinking may not be what really happens...

I was in a *public* bathroom one night and in there I was raped by a stranger. I tried to fight him off and said no over and over again to no avail. So I went into my mind and off into my own world while it happened. I had learned to do that when I was younger and raped by my stepbrother for 4 years. (that is all you will know of my rape as the details are very personal and not for everyone to hear)
Anyways, I locked myself away in my room for a week and bathed in bleach the whole time and then I finally emerged from my room with the thought of "well, that is life" and went back to work without telling a soul.

It was about a month later that I started to feel sick at stinky smells but reasoned that it was because of the new birth control I had started to take messing with my hormones. Seemed logical to everyone as they had no clue of my rape. Then finally someone asked me "are you sure you are not pregnant?"