My story: part 2

This is continued on from the previous post..

So, I get home from the abortion clinic all hopped up on gas, the most expensive high (and only) I have ever had because even if you don't go thru with the abortion they still like to keep your money and I was to doped up to even think/process that at the time. Anywho, I didn't know what to do. No abortion = still pregnant, but still I knew I couldn't raise a baby. So a few days later I pack a few things into my van and head home back to my momma. She had known about my rape when I found out I was preggo and was supportive of my choice to get an abortion. Well, even though I went back home I couldn't face her and tell her that I was still carrying around "his" baby. I just felt so ashamed of everything. I remember one day just driving up and down the main road searching for a billboard I had seen a bazillion times through-out high school and yet could not find it at all. I kept driving by churches to stop and ask for help finding it or knowing the place it advertised but always chickened out. Oh the thoughts that run through your mind and worrying about what others will think and the thoughts of having to talk to the police. I did not want that. I am normally a very shy girl so to air out my dirty laundry was unthinkable.